20 - Musings of the Lewis Tweedies
By Lorna Angus
Introducing the Lewis Tweedies and their escapades
There
was a young Tweedy called Patch
Who fell into the sea with a SPLATCH!
A fisherman caught him
And that lesson taught him
"You never quite know what you'll catch!"
There
was a young Tweedy called Mia
Who
liked to show off in her Kia.
She
drove through the sea
And "Oh dearie me!"
She found herself stranded in Gigha.
There
was a young Walter from Ness
Who kept all his books in a mess.
He said with a shrug,
"They're all under the rug,
I've tidied my room, more or less!"
There
was a young Tweedy called Bobby
Who kept his train set in the lobby.
But he had to confess
"There are NO TRAINS to Ness,
So I'll keep it for now as a hobby."
There
was a young mouse called Munro
Who was doing his homework too slow.
Now Granny Mouse said,
"You'll go straight to your bed,
And your treats you will have to forego."
Our
intrepid young climber called George
Near Oslo got stuck in a gorge.
The fjords
were not small.
Most surprising of all...
The Norwegian for
"Norway" is "Norge"!
There
was a young Tweedy called Murdo
Whose tastes were a wee bit absurdo.
He liked
raspberry jam
On an omelette with ham,
And his tatties with sweet lemon curdo.
The
yellow-eared Tweedy called Goldie
Complained that the Cheddar was mouldy,
"It's
been left in the heat
And it's not fit to eat,
For cheese should be stored
somewhere coldy."
A
feisty young Tweedy called Patch
Was the star in a Ness rugby match.
In the
scrums: shove! push! thud!
He got covered in mud
But emerged
without even a scratch.
There
once was a mouse called Moluag
Who kept all his shoes in a shoebag.
While
tramping through bogs
He got mud on his clogs,
So he then had to purchase a new
bag!
There
once was a Tweedy called Ollie
Who got hoarse when the weather was squally.
Now,
can you all guess?
He set off back to Ness
And got psalm-singing lessons from
Dolaidh.
There
was a young Tweedy called Otto
Who wanted to paint like Giotto.
He worked without
blemish
But his paintings looked Flemish,
So he called himself Jean-Antoine
Watteau.
A
young Tweedy mouse had a batch
Of chicken eggs, waiting to hatch
Told the Fox, "Do not snatch!
Do not scratch at the latch!"
And who do you think
he was?... Patch!!!!!
There
is a fine Tweedy called Felix
Who sends his friends e-mails and e-pics,
But
on wet Saturdays
Prefers old-fashioned ways
(And he always gives stamps at
least THREE licks!)
A
pretty young Tweedy called Plum
Is having a party, "Please come,
But don't
call me Plumpy
Or I shall get grumpy
And it would be a rum thing to have a
dumb Plum who is glum..."
Last line is far too
long...
but who cares??
Jolly
Ollie spent his lolly
Bought a collie... what a folly!
Hit a
volley into the holly...
Off his trolley?
Ness Black Pudding,
cheese and pasta
Makes a Tweedy plumper faster............
Off to
school goes Patch
with his heavy satch-
el, full of pencils,
chalks and pens
and stencils,
scissors, fabric squares,
crayons, lots of spares;
scalpels for
the scratchwork,
UHU for the matchwork,
ink for fine cross-hatch work,
needles for his PATCHWORK!
If you
had a house
and a Tweedy Mouse,
would you let Patch
under the
thatch
with a match?
Quick! Catch Patch in the thatch
with a match!!
ยฉ November 2025 LA.
