22 - More musings of Great Aunt Lorna's Tweedies
By Lorna Angus
The Lewis Tweedies' adventures continue
Serena's
big sister, called Venus,
Was practising serves in the greenhouse.
One ball went astray
And she cried in dismay,
"It's okay, I don't think they've seen us!"
There
was once a young Tweedy called Peat
Who had trouble in finding his feet.
In the boggy terrain
He searched, all in vain,
"I don't think Granny Mouse ever sewed me any", he would bleat.
Esmeralda
loved to dress
And make a fashion splash in Ness.
She loved her beads
And Harris Tweeds
And never ever looked a mess.
Young
Ossian called himself Oss,
And he hoped to be seen as the boss.
He did all that was needed
But only succeeded
In making the real "The Boss" cross.
There
was a young Tweedy called Marbhig
Who was skilled in performing the Star Jig,
A quaint old Norse dance
Where you leap and you prance,
And he learned it while staying in Larvik.
There was a brave mouse called Munro
Whose hero was bold Ivanhoe,
For he courage did show,
With his heart all aglow,
With his charger, sword, arrow and bow!
In the book by his bro (his brother, Walter the Bard)
There
once was a mouse called Munro
Who made puddings with pastry and dough.
He slapped sponge mix on top
In a gen'rous doll-op,
Then he shoved in the fruit down below.
Serena
had won countless prizes.
(Her outfits came in fulsome sizes.)
She'd more or less abandoned doubles
After a series of tiresome troubles.
She didn't mind the slips and falls,
But partners mistook her yellow ears for yellow tennis balls!
And that hurt!
There
was a young Tweedy called Rusty
Who refused to eat bread that was fusty,
Or scones that were musty,
Or cakes that were dusty,
And insisted his croissants were crusty.
There
once was a sailor called Noah.
When sailing his ark up to Goa,
With each creature, a pair,
He was filled with despair
When he noticed he'd only ONE boa!
There
was a young mouse called Munro
Whose hero was Robinson Crusoe.
He said, quite discreet,
"I'm glad I've no feet,
So no sharks can devour my big toe!"
A young golfing Tweedy called Evie
Broke all the course rules at Pitreavie.
She got down on her hunkers
To retrieve shots from bunkers,
And hid the rogue balls up her sleevie!
Young
Diesel liked helping the factor.
He raced up and down in the tractor.
But while mowing the clover
The quad bike fell over!
Crash! Thump! "Call the nice chiropractor!"
Marigold! Marigold! Marigold!
When will you ever be TOLD??!
If you drink Lucozade
Your beauty wonβt fade
Because Tweedy Mice never grow old.
There
once was a mouse called The Boss
Who ate bacon with cranberry sauce.
But he'd toss it aside
And announce with great pride,
"I'd rather have pink candy-floss."
There
once were some Tweedies from Ness
Who never ate breakfast unless
There were lashings of prawns
And strawberry scones
And their whiskers could get in a mess!
There
once was a mouse called Munro
Who loved to play out in the snow.
When snowballing reindeer
Just what did he hear?
But a cheerful and loud, "Ho Ho Ho!"
Β© November 2025 LA.
